Marriage – the facts you need to know - 47
· You need to know he thinks he's helping when he's telling you what to do.
· You need to know he's always worried about you and the kids having enough. That's why it's hard for him to enjoy what he has without wanting more.
· You need to know it bothers him when he thinks he doesn't have everything under control.
· You need to know you won't understand his addiction to Grand Theft Auto. Love him through this.
· You need to know if you want him to smell a certain way, you'll have to buy him cologne.
· You need to know that he'll seem to disappear emotionally exactly when you really need him to confront a problem. Men want to think about the situation. They don't want to talk about it.
· You need to know men take about twenty or thirty minutes to prepare themselves to talk about a touchy issue. Don't make a big deal out of it. Make dinner.
· You need to know a man doesn't like to cry in front of his wife.
· You need to know he doesn't want to think about shutters when it's fourth down and the ball is on the two-yard line in the final seconds of a tight game.
· You need to know he'll drive you to the store to get tampons. But don't mention them, don't talk about them, and never, ever ask him to go inside and buy them.
· You need to know that on car trips he wants to leave at the crack of dawn and get there in a hurry. Women want to have brunch and enjoy the drive.
· You need to know you're going to have to show him what to do with an artichoke. And an eggplant.
· You need to know he has no idea what he's thinking or feeling. So don't think you know.
· You need to know that you carry the purse in the family. That's why he will stuff it with things he doesn't want to carry.
· You need to know that the sound coming from downstairs early in the morning is him showing the kids how video games work.
· You need to know that while he likes you with young-looking skin and makeup, he'll never fathom the cost.
· You need to know you'll feed his friends stuff you wouldn't put in your mouth.
· You need to know men don't eat pimento cheese sandwiches. Don't bother making them.
· You need to know men aren't genetically wired to appreciate criticism. Instead of telling him what he's doing wrong, make a suggestion. Perfume helps too.
· You need to know praise turns him on.