Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Marriage is a lifetime commitment. A hard nut for couples to crack! And, choosing the right man to spend your life with is not a game. Apart from convincing your parents to accept the man you like, there are various other factors that need to be considered. To spend a happy life with your partner, first pick the best man by analyzing these 6 things.

6 things to consider before marrying him:

 This is the most important matter of consideration. A man is not always comfortable expressing his feelings. Agreed! But, before you decide to marry him, you have to be very sure if he is actually in love with you. Don't confuse yourself with infatuation. 

Compatible: Although, likes cannot be same but, a couple must be compatible. For a happy marriage you have to see if both of you are compatible or not. Compatibility does not mean that all your likes and dislikes should match but, it is when you can live together in harmony. 

Career: This is one of the most important thing to consider before choosing a man. You wish to have a well settled life once you are married and a right career will help you in dealing with financial issues. Discuss how to divide expenses and plan for a better future ahead. 

Family: Marriage is not a commitment between two individuals. It is a bonding of two families. Before choosing your Mr. Right, consider knowing his family. This is mainly because you will also be linked with his family throughout your life. Regardless of your nuclear or joint family, you have to look after his parents and family too.

Character: A strong character can ensure that he will love you the most. In this regards, do not consider the past. In their youth, guys are flirts and they can commit silly mistakes too! If the present guy is decent and not overtly flirtatious, you can consider marrying him!

Nature: A reserved man can be difficult to deal with. Simply because he will be in his own world! For a healthy marriage, couples need to share their ideas and thoughts with each other. A man can either be reserved or outspoken, arrogant or humble, dominating or submissive. Analyse his nature and check if you can adjust with him or not. For a lifetime commitment, the couple should gel with each other.

These are few points that you can consider before marrying him. If you have doubts, discuss with your man before marriage. This helps you clear out issues before hand and you do not face complications after tying the knot. Sharing a good rapport is a must and when you have selected a partner for your life, analyse these things once.


An old man, staying in a small south Indian town came to visit his son in Bombay recently. The son in his early thirties is a successful businessman living with his wife and son. The father, having spent most of his life at his birthplace, hardly understands a splatter of Hindi or English, forget Marathi. But he doesn't care. 'I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his family. I don't have to go out and socialize with the city people,' he said.

But the son is very excited about his father's rare visit to Bombay. He wants to make the best of it. He and his wife want to show him around the city. And yes, the son enjoys those evening hours too, when  he and his father go out and sit in a good bar, sipping their favorite  drink.

Last week he was in a very good mood. 'Let's go to a five star hotel's bar tonight,' he told his father. It was a beautiful evening. Talking about everything under the sun they had a few drinks. As usual they were offered some salad, peanuts, wafers etc. as accompaniments with their drinks. The old man being almost toothless was not much interested in eating. But that day when they got up to leave, he simply took a handful of chana (roasted grams) and stuffed it in the  fold of his dhoti. He might have thought about munching on them, sitting in the car, or whatever.
Unfortunately while walking in the lobby, he missed a step and stumbled. Down he went, scattering the chana on the plush carpet.

No problem. Now try to visualize that scenario. Someone else in his son's place would have been mortified, embarrassed to death. He might have cursed not his father but his own self for causing this awkward situation.

'Never again will I take my old man to such hotels', he would have vowed.
No sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile, he helped his father get back on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry, he was amused. He found the whole incident very funny. Laughing, they both went home and on the way they decided to return to the same place the following Sunday. 

The old man liked the place and liked the chana too. Few days back, at a friend's place they both described this event and made everybody laugh.

Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son.  'Oh, come on now' replied    the son. 'He is my father. He talks in his native language, prefers to wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel, takes chana from the bar to eat later, does whatever he feels like.... So what?

Why should I feel embarrassed with his nature and habits? Nobody has a right to stop him from doing whatever he feels comfortable with, as long as it is not harmful to others.'

The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel thought about that incident. He says 'they should be concerned only with their bills and tips. I am concerned about my father's happiness.'  The wife too totally agrees with the husband on this issue. She feels there are enough other qualities in her father- in- law to feel proud of.
Accept them .The above incident is not mentioned just to show the love  and devotion of a son for his father. More than love it is a matter of understanding and a healthy respect for the other person's lifestyle.

A seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now. He likes the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing wrong with the old ways of living. And the son says, ok, fine. Every body has a right to live as per his wish. Now at his age, why should he be forced to learn to eat with a fork and knife, if he doesn't want to? I will feel bad if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in some harmful activities. But otherwise it is fine. I am not going to try to change him at this stage. He is my father. I love him, respect him.

Hey folks, can you think this way? So many times we see people getting embarrassed by the so called unsophisticated behavior of their family members. They keep on apologizing about their lack of class and manners or about their drawbacks to outsiders. My wife can't speak proper English; she doesn't know what's happening in the world, so I avoid taking her out or introducing her to my friends and business associates... My parents can't eat with a  spoon and fork, so I don't take them to restaurants My husband is  working as an ordinary clerk, so I feel awkward when I introduce him  to my rich friends.  My brother is mentally challenged, so I don't feel like going out with him...

Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people who think alike? If you do, please ask yourself. Why do others or I feel this way? Really what is there to feel ashamed of? Most of the people always have this fear of other peoples' opinions and comments. What would others say? 

Nothing.. You are what you are..

Too big huh?? But it's a brain drain... Think over it..

Friday, May 25, 2012

10 Life Lessons to Learn from Tom and Jerry

10 Life Lessons to Learn from Tom and Jerry

Almost every episode starts with a desperate scream of how to eat Jerry! Tom uses every strategy, tool and weapon to kill Jerry and Jerry keeps finding relevant means of way to escape. He comes out unhurt even if Tom successfully swallows him. Sometimes, the fight takes an ugly and destructive shape compelling Jerry to use explosives to blow up Tom's face or portion of body but he never intends to kill him. After the temporary journey of pain, sufferings, and tortures, Jerry always wins and proves size does not always matterBoth Tom and Jerry have their own challenges, adversaries but they were born to never give up; they bounce back with victories.
Here are 10 lessons we can learn from these two legendary cartoon characters:

1. We fight with our nearest and dearest ones because we feel it is our right. Well, it doesn't really matter how much or how many times we fight. what matters is do we provide emotional security in the face of threats? Do we offer our shoulders when they are in need of us or stand by them when they feel isolated? Do we let them feel the indissoluble bond with them?

Do you share your happiness in the wonderland of life?

2. If you are witty and poised then your size does not matter at all.

 A weak might get frightened for a moment but he can win over the strongest  with his intelligence and great wits. Jerry doesn't do heroic works,  he just makes the best use of his brain and wins. If you ever feel lost, humiliated,disappointed, or weak, return to yourself and try to explore your strength.

 "you never know how strong you are… until being strong is the only choice you have." ― Cayla Mills

3. Confidence matters. Eleanor Roosevelt has said it best, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." Jerry ultimately wins and brims with confidence. He knows very well how to escape all the obstacles
regardless of how many times he stumbles on it.

4. At times, your best friend might behave roughly or seem to be your greatest enemy. It's not the time to express your anger in foul language and prove him or her wrong. It is quite likely that your friend expects you to be more sensible and wise in difficult situations and wants you to acknowledge your mistake.

Compassion and love are expressed in a variety of ways; anger is one of them.

5. A little home, sufficient food and a true friend are enough to be happy.
6. Sometimes we don't actually learn from our failures Tom attacks Jerry in almost the same patterns and as usual Jerry escapes.
7. Even a small little thing can make you feel how diminutive you are in front of his/her guts, courage and confidence.  Stay grounded and rooted; and never humiliate somebody for their height or size.

8. Sometimes you feel that you are the best person to know how to make something happen and you have seen it every way, without having a slightest idea that there is somebody who knows it better than you.
9. Sometimes, some tricks that we consider idiotic or meaningless work wonders.
10. Be prepared to face difficulties even if you have had enough of it. 

There is an old saying, "Every difficulty is an opportunity in disguise!Be prepared and let them come and get you bothered; they will make you stronger and wiser as a person. It often happens that whenever Tom thinks that all is done Jerry plays his card and wins.
Mousumi Kumar Saha

Written by: Mousumi Kumar Saha




Advice your tax payers not to quote PAN for railway tatkal bookingsIndian Railways(IR) Displaying confidential Tax Payers information 

*PAN as identity proof for Tatkal bookings*IR has started collecting PAN and other specified identity information in support of tatkal bookings as per recent direction and displaying PAN alongwith name, sex and age of reserved passengers on the reservation charts pasted on to the railway compartments. 

*A boon for benami transactions*Finance Act 2012 has made it mandatory for certain traders like jewellery dealers to collect tax (TCS) from customers on purchase of jewellery worth Rs.2 lakhs and above. While complying with TCS rules for collection, payment and uploading of TCS information (Efiling of TDS returns) jewellery dealers have to furnish PAN of customers

For Certain customers it is not convenient to provide PAN as they may have constraints in explaining source (black money earned through corruption, undeclared incomes etc.,) and in such cases to accommodate high networth customers, the traders have a easy source of benami PAN particulars like name, sex and age from reserved railway compartments. 

While I was travelling from COIMBATORE TO CHENNAI i have noticed certain persons seriously copying PAN particulars alongwith name, age and sex pasted on to the reserved compartments, on enquiry they have stated that they are paid Rs.10 per PAN particulars by some traders. These persons are copying selected PAN information of senior citizens, women etc., only from sleeper class with the intention that passengers in sleeper class are not serious tax payers and generally salaried class. 

*Impact on traders:*Traders providing wrong particulars of PAN are penalised with Rs.10000 for violation of furnishing wrong particulars. Traders can always say that they have accepted the PAN particulars on the face value as there is no condition for the traders to collect xerox copy of PAN card at the time of sale of jewellery. In how many cases till now income tax department has penalised traders submitting wrong particulars of PAN. After all Income Tax department wants taxes. This is known to the department only in case of long drawn dispute by the PAN holder. Generally these disputes are settled after 2 years. 

*Impact on PAN holders who is a tax payer:*This is known only to the regular tax payers, who regularly check their tax credit on form 26 AS provided by the Income Tax department on their website. This form 26 AS is updated only on filing of etds returns by traders. There is almost 6 - 12 months time for the PAN holder to known that a transaction of above nature has taken place on his name and only if he goes through form 26 AS. On noticing the tax credit of above nature while reconciling form 26 AS for tax credits for filing the return during subsequent financial year i.e July/September, the tax payer has an option to exclude the same and go ahead in filing the return. In that case the department will first initiate action from the tax payer side asking him to prove that he has not carried on the above transaction. The onus lies on the genuine tax payer for the fault committed by the traders. All this dispute settlement takes a time more than 2 years. The department may also ask the genuine tax payer to explain the sources of above transaction. 

*Impact on PAN holders who is a not tax payer:*This is not known to the non tax payer/filler at all and he comes know only when the tax department issues a notice to explain the source of above transaction. This is a long drawn process by which only genuine public are scapegoat again and again and intelligent business man and corrupt people are free from all hassles.

Wayout The IR should stop publishing confidential tax particulars on the reservation charts that are displayed on the railway compartments. Further Tax department should put a rule that while quote the PAN the traders/dealers have to mandatory collect self attested pan xerox copy to avoid unnecessary litigation to the genuine public. 

Public should quote their PAN only while dealing in mandatory financial transactions and avoid quoting the same for identity proof. This is communicated to all in the larger interest of public, railways, and tax department.