When tradition goes trendy
by GEETA PADMANABHAN
Considering the complexity and logistics involved, Avanti’s parents wanted to hold her wedding in New York. It’s a city they know well, they have been living and working there for nearly half a century. In commerce-driven Big Apple, phone calls are honoured, goods delivered on time, monsoon wedding-type disasters unheard of. A network of friends would have pitched in. No way, said Avanti, who came to India to visit her Patti and stayed on to work. “She loves the way family and friends get together in India and everything is done impromptu and from the heart — not in a rehearsed manner!” says her aunt Kala. “Avanti loves the colour, hilarity, and fun of a Big Fat Indian Wedding!”
For Qatar-based Vijaya and husband Balasubramaniam, their daughters’ weddings took on the dimensions of an international project. Soumya found her Prince Charming in Germany where she was on an assignment, Priya’s fiancé was a co-inhabitant of London. Parents and daughters may have had differences over the choice of grooms, but about the setting for the wedding, the vote was unanimous. It would be Kochi. They have relatives in almost every town in Kerala.
Not too long ago, in a quiet part of Chennai, usually-in-jeans Akshaya — Microsoft, Seattle — now in a nine-yard sari, walked around the sacred fire with husband of a few minutes Abhishek — Deloitte, Kentucky. Abhishek was wearing his dhoti in Panchakacham and seemed comfortable in it. Akshaya’s parents came from Muscat to arrange the wedding and Abhishek’s aunt had flown in from Pittsburg to join the groom’s party. Showing off her sari, she laughed, “Wrapping this around after a long time was a feat!” Hindi, Tamil and English words floated above the energetic beat of the nadaswaram ensemble.
Strong asset
In a society that finds profit in creating divisions, it isn’t surprising that we continue to ignore our strongest asset — our ability to accommodate, to connect and cluster. A unique strain, a cultural DNA, eggs us on to find linkages, strengthen our bonds across time and geography. Families scattered over the globe, travelling to anchor weddings in Chennai, Mumbai, Kolkata or Kochi is perhaps a typical example of this extraordinary characteristic. “A New York wedding would have been easier for my sister Jayanti,” says Kala. “The boy’s parents live there too. But Jayanti is distance-organising the wedding in Chennai.”
“We absolutely had to have a traditional wedding,” says Akshaya. They spent time doing research, she said, and Seattle-style, prepared an Excel sheet of the sequence. “Thrilled to go through every ceremony religiously, even long-disc his eyes from the smoke).” They had been fasting since morning, and would lunch from a special menu. There would be a grahapravesam and a visit to the temple. It was all a re-education, re-establishing old ties, reaffirming their inclusion in a great legacy. What are stolen shoes, a few mosquitoes and flowing humidity in this sea of joy? “It’s all so aesthetic,” said Akshaya, sighing happily. “The jewellery, the VIP fare. It’s an opportunity to see our grandparents and legions of cousins. We left this place 15 years ago. Now it’s hello to two generations of relatives from both sides of the family.” Emotional bonds and blessings of the family, nodded Murali, father of the bride. He didn’t want a precisely ordered reception where family values are confined to RSVP. Sitting in the mandapam, surrounded by the noise and smoke is a wonderful feeling of belonging, he says. “The branches grow far and wide, but the root is the same.”
Occasions to bond
Our festivals and celebrations have a bonding blueprint, says Anu Parthasarathy, CEO, Global Executive Talent. Thyagaraja festival in Ohio, Kolu in CA, Suryanarayana Puja in Seattle — we belong to a loose federation. “We could never fit into another culture completely. Thousand-year-old traditions are difficult to shake off.” And why would we, when those traditions are so colourful, fun and rich?
So we create our own spaces, wherever we go. “I spent my childhood in Fremont, a Bay Area city in which it is not uncommon to see a greater number of women clad in saris vs. jeans,” wrote Samyukta Suresh, student. “It has two Indian stores or restaurants per street, a temple, Indian beauty parlours, and a NAZ Cinema. By third grade I was placed in both Bharatanatyam and Carnatic music classes. My friends and I watch an equal number of Hindi movies as we do English ones, listen to Bollywood songs alongside American music, attend garbas as well as school dances.”
Sangeeth and mehendi straddle all weddings, many of which have two sets of rituals to satisfy the customs of the two parties. When Mahesh and Suman, who met at a university in LA, flew down to marry in Chennai, they set off long discussions on the “how” of the wedding. It was left to the priests to marry the rites of a Tambrahm wedding with those of a Konkani tradition. Kids born and raised abroad visit India and very quickly adapt to their “long-dreamed” home. They wish to stay on. They say, “You brought us up for this! Not for a life in the US!”
Our love for “connections” could explain our tremendous leap into technology. “We broke the geographical barriers by webcasting the wedding,” laughs Abishek.
Shared experiences
“The connection is made in interesting ways, at least in the Silicon Valley,” says Vidya Pradhan who runs a popular community website. “Here, education is a definite point of reference. Most men are from IITs, or similar engineering colleges. It’s just six degrees of separation in institutions of learning.” Comics they read as children — Indrajal, Mandrake and Phantom — and Chandamama and Amar Chitra Katha kick-start conversations. Music and movies are ice breakers. The source of Bollywood music too helps orientation. Rhapsody, iTunes, Amazon? As they go about their 12-hour workdays, they find ways to communicate, to unite.” And come together for causes big and small, personal and public.
http://www.hindu.com/mag/2009/06/28/stories/2009062850020100.htm
by GEETA PADMANABHAN
Considering the complexity and logistics involved, Avanti’s parents wanted to hold her wedding in New York. It’s a city they know well, they have been living and working there for nearly half a century. In commerce-driven Big Apple, phone calls are honoured, goods delivered on time, monsoon wedding-type disasters unheard of. A network of friends would have pitched in. No way, said Avanti, who came to India to visit her Patti and stayed on to work. “She loves the way family and friends get together in India and everything is done impromptu and from the heart — not in a rehearsed manner!” says her aunt Kala. “Avanti loves the colour, hilarity, and fun of a Big Fat Indian Wedding!”
For Qatar-based Vijaya and husband Balasubramaniam, their daughters’ weddings took on the dimensions of an international project. Soumya found her Prince Charming in Germany where she was on an assignment, Priya’s fiancé was a co-inhabitant of London. Parents and daughters may have had differences over the choice of grooms, but about the setting for the wedding, the vote was unanimous. It would be Kochi. They have relatives in almost every town in Kerala.
Not too long ago, in a quiet part of Chennai, usually-in-jeans Akshaya — Microsoft, Seattle — now in a nine-yard sari, walked around the sacred fire with husband of a few minutes Abhishek — Deloitte, Kentucky. Abhishek was wearing his dhoti in Panchakacham and seemed comfortable in it. Akshaya’s parents came from Muscat to arrange the wedding and Abhishek’s aunt had flown in from Pittsburg to join the groom’s party. Showing off her sari, she laughed, “Wrapping this around after a long time was a feat!” Hindi, Tamil and English words floated above the energetic beat of the nadaswaram ensemble.
Strong asset
In a society that finds profit in creating divisions, it isn’t surprising that we continue to ignore our strongest asset — our ability to accommodate, to connect and cluster. A unique strain, a cultural DNA, eggs us on to find linkages, strengthen our bonds across time and geography. Families scattered over the globe, travelling to anchor weddings in Chennai, Mumbai, Kolkata or Kochi is perhaps a typical example of this extraordinary characteristic. “A New York wedding would have been easier for my sister Jayanti,” says Kala. “The boy’s parents live there too. But Jayanti is distance-organising the wedding in Chennai.”
“We absolutely had to have a traditional wedding,” says Akshaya. They spent time doing research, she said, and Seattle-style, prepared an Excel sheet of the sequence. “Thrilled to go through every ceremony religiously, even long-disc his eyes from the smoke).” They had been fasting since morning, and would lunch from a special menu. There would be a grahapravesam and a visit to the temple. It was all a re-education, re-establishing old ties, reaffirming their inclusion in a great legacy. What are stolen shoes, a few mosquitoes and flowing humidity in this sea of joy? “It’s all so aesthetic,” said Akshaya, sighing happily. “The jewellery, the VIP fare. It’s an opportunity to see our grandparents and legions of cousins. We left this place 15 years ago. Now it’s hello to two generations of relatives from both sides of the family.” Emotional bonds and blessings of the family, nodded Murali, father of the bride. He didn’t want a precisely ordered reception where family values are confined to RSVP. Sitting in the mandapam, surrounded by the noise and smoke is a wonderful feeling of belonging, he says. “The branches grow far and wide, but the root is the same.”
Occasions to bond
Our festivals and celebrations have a bonding blueprint, says Anu Parthasarathy, CEO, Global Executive Talent. Thyagaraja festival in Ohio, Kolu in CA, Suryanarayana Puja in Seattle — we belong to a loose federation. “We could never fit into another culture completely. Thousand-year-old traditions are difficult to shake off.” And why would we, when those traditions are so colourful, fun and rich?
So we create our own spaces, wherever we go. “I spent my childhood in Fremont, a Bay Area city in which it is not uncommon to see a greater number of women clad in saris vs. jeans,” wrote Samyukta Suresh, student. “It has two Indian stores or restaurants per street, a temple, Indian beauty parlours, and a NAZ Cinema. By third grade I was placed in both Bharatanatyam and Carnatic music classes. My friends and I watch an equal number of Hindi movies as we do English ones, listen to Bollywood songs alongside American music, attend garbas as well as school dances.”
Sangeeth and mehendi straddle all weddings, many of which have two sets of rituals to satisfy the customs of the two parties. When Mahesh and Suman, who met at a university in LA, flew down to marry in Chennai, they set off long discussions on the “how” of the wedding. It was left to the priests to marry the rites of a Tambrahm wedding with those of a Konkani tradition. Kids born and raised abroad visit India and very quickly adapt to their “long-dreamed” home. They wish to stay on. They say, “You brought us up for this! Not for a life in the US!”
Our love for “connections” could explain our tremendous leap into technology. “We broke the geographical barriers by webcasting the wedding,” laughs Abishek.
Shared experiences
“The connection is made in interesting ways, at least in the Silicon Valley,” says Vidya Pradhan who runs a popular community website. “Here, education is a definite point of reference. Most men are from IITs, or similar engineering colleges. It’s just six degrees of separation in institutions of learning.” Comics they read as children — Indrajal, Mandrake and Phantom — and Chandamama and Amar Chitra Katha kick-start conversations. Music and movies are ice breakers. The source of Bollywood music too helps orientation. Rhapsody, iTunes, Amazon? As they go about their 12-hour workdays, they find ways to communicate, to unite.” And come together for causes big and small, personal and public.
http://www.hindu.com/mag/2009/06/28/stories/2009062850020100.htm
Vasuki Mahal Kalyana Mandapam, Coimbatore 641025, India
