Marriage – Facts you need to know - 17
· You need to know that even if you get a divorce, odds are you'll marry the same kind of person all over again. And have the same kinds of fights.
· You need to know what your spouse thinks you're saying. Have him repeat your words. What he's heard will amaze you.
· You need to know research has shown that happily married couples use certain words and actions to keep arguments from spiraling out of control. Phrases like "Please let me finish," "That hurt my feelings," and "Yes, I see" have a way of keeping the discussion constructive, bringing it to a conclusion faster, and still being friends afterward.
· You need to know that instead of just criticizing your partner during a conflict, also say what you love about them. It changes the tone.
· You need to know if you learn to listen without reacting defensively, you'll slow your partner's attack, and they'll drop their defenses.
· You need to know that thousands of years of research indicate most people respond to anger with . . . well . . . anger.
· You need to know that no matter how soft you think you talk during a fight, the other person will think you are yelling.
· You need to know arguing about the past is an indication of a lack of forgiveness in your marriage.
· You need to know you're a fallen human being too.
· You need to know happy couples fight. But they always fight for their relationship.
· You need to know to respect your partner's privacy. Reading his private notes, diaries, and journals will only shock you, start a fight, and damage your relationship.
· You need to know a perfectly rational act during the middle of a fight is to leave the scene, go outside, and ask God what He was thinking when He made the opposite sex. Maybe He'll share.
· You need to know that if your fighting is beginning to define your marriage, it's time to go to a Bible study.
· You need to know patience has never started a fight.
· You need to know people tend not to listen to people who are attacking them.
· You need to know bringing up ancient history has never ended a fight.
· You need to know sarcasm dissolves love.
· You need to know, before a fight escalates into World War III, to ask
· yourself, "How important is this?"If it's not that important, move on and get dinner on the table.
· You need to know that instead of explaining your side once again, you need to listen to their perspective.
· You need to know you must fight fair. Telling her she's as crazy as her mother—not fair.