Marriage – the facts you need to know - 34
· You need to know that if you don't want to spill your guts to a therapist, a marriage education program can work wonders. Check out www.smartmarriages.com.
· You need to know that if your biggest complaint is that your meals aren't ready when you get home, you don't need couples counseling.
· Electroshock therapy is what's needed.
· You need to know that if one person refuses to go to marriage counseling, the other one should still go. Working on yourself never hurts.
· You need to know a good counselor may not be able to save a bad marriage.
· You need to know if your marriage counselor is divorced.
· You need to know if going to the same counselor for six months hasn't helped, it's time to find a new counselor.
· You need to know where each of you stands on sexual fidelity. You think you know. But make sure.
· You need to know an affair is more likely to affect your marriage than a divorce. And that happens to 50 percent of marriages.
· You need to know you can no longer fantasize about other people. Really. It's stupid.
· You need to know that studies indicate the more sexual partners a person has before marriage, the more likely that person is to stray.
· You need to know an affair doesn't just happen. It's a decision you make along the way.
· You need to know research strongly suggests an affair doesn't make you happier. Even if no one finds out.
· You need to know an affair won't do anything for your self-esteem. Except ruin it.
· You need to know an affair won't make you feel more beautiful.
· You need to know it's stupid to use an unsatisfactory sex life as a reason for fooling around. Your partner is having as bad a time as you are.
· You need to know the reactions of a betrayed spouse resemble those of a soldier after coming home from combat: complete shock.
· You need to know that husbands and wives under forty are equally capable of straying.
· You need to know that even in so called "open marriages," infidelity leads to rage, jealousy, and abandonment fears.
· You need to know that your adultery isn't your spouse's fault.