Marriage – the facts you need to know - 37
· You need to know just one word when it comes to appreciating parents and in-laws: babysitters.
· You need to know you might spend more time and money taking care of your parents than your kids.
· You need to know if he wants to live near Mom or if he'd be willing to move to the city for your career.
· You need to know that at about the same time your kids are leaving home, his parents could be moving in.
· You need to know being married again means you were blessed to find comfort and companionship again.
· You need to know that it is totally possible to get it completely wrong the first time, and completely right the second.
· You need to know marriage is a sacrament. Even second marriages. Even fourth marriages.
· You need to know a second marriage often means feeling like a teenager when you . . . well . . . have teenagers.
· You need to know to make a final emotional divorce from your ex in order to clear the path for your new marriage.
· You need to know a second marriage presents you with new financial complications: houses, retirement accounts, insurance policies, and . . . of course . . . kids.
· You need to know the chances are good that problems from your first marriage will carry into your second marriage.
· You need to know if fear and resentment from your first marriage are complicating the second, it's time to seek counseling.
· You need to know a second marriage means your children can have a part in your wedding. But they may not want to. Let them decide.
· You need to know your children and your fiancé's children may harbor fantasies of their parents getting back together. Go slowly.
· You need to know 65% of remarriages include children from previous families.
· You need to know your children may not be all that thrilled with the possibility of living with a stepparent.
· You need to know you're not going to fall in love with your partner's children overnight. In fact, it may take a while.
· You need to know your stepchildren aren't going to fall in love with you because you're a nice person who gives them money.
· You need to know it's your job to get to know your spouse's children. And to earn their respect.
· You need to know you'll struggle with who comes first: your kids or your new spouse.
