“…from AgnihOthram Sri RaamAnuja TatachAr's monograph on the Eternal relevance of VedAs (…) :" In the early years of marriage , love has a sexual importance. But with the advance of years, it mellows into a great attachment and affection. No one can disturb this mutual love.
Marriage is not made for sexual purpose , BUT FOR A REAL UNITED LIFE .... The VedAs say that the wife is the only friend of her husband....Their comradeship is strengthened by day-to-day movements .She never claims superiority over her husband and she is never treated as inferior by her husband. She is the mistress of the house .... She is a real friend and closely follows her husband in the good and bad of domestic life and takes keen interest in his welfare. She also advises him at times.
Smruthi following the direction given by the Vedas states clearly that it is the duty of a wife to correct the mistake of her husband ". *“For husband and wife, Vedas make mention of one word which means two masters of one house. Not only husband, but also his wife is equal owner of the house. Both enjoy the same prestige, power and position. None is subordinate to the other. To say that wife is servant or slave to husband is not okayed by Vedas.”
What happens today is that men many times don’t have the courage to say that, but they act according to this. So that’s also not ok. To suppose that wife should obey her husband, touch his feet, don’t utter his name out of respect, is the very same thing of saying that the wife is inferior.
So all these things are not ok! “The performance of yajna is considered to be complete only when both husband and wife sit together. Woman enjoys the same right as man, to study and preach the sublime philosophy of Vedas.
According to Vedic religion, marriage is a union of two souls enjoying constant peace and prosperity at home. It entitles woman to enjoy permanent safety, security, serenity and sovereignty at home. (…) In accordance with Vedic religion, marriage ensures woman to be the wife and mistress at the house for full span of life of a hundred years. (…)Wedding ceremonies performed in accordance with Vedic religion bind the bride and bride-groom in spiritual ties of love and liberty, equality and integrity, purity and piety. They become one soul living in two bodies. Nuptial relations guaranteed by Vedic religion are based on spiritualism rather than materialism, love rather than lust.”
Let’s see some things that the Atharva veda has to say about this subject: “Teach the husband ways of earning wealth. (7.46.3) “Protector of children, having definite knowledge, worth thousands of prayers and impressing all directions, O women, you accept prosperity. O wife of deserving husband, teach your husband to enhance wealth (Atharvaveda-Hindi Bhashya Part 1, Author: Kshemkarandas Trivedi, Sarvadeshik Arya Pratinidhi Sabha, Delhi, Page 804)”We can also quote the Rigveda: ”(...) I am the emblem, I am the head, I am supreme and now I dictate; my husband must conform to my will; rivals now I have none. (Atharvaveda 10/159/2)**
“The idea of equality is expressed in the Rig Veda: "The home has, verily, its foundation in the wife”,” The wife and husband, being the equal halves of one substance, are equal in every respect; therefore both should join and take equal parts in all work, religious and secular." (RV 5, 61. 8) The wife was Pathni (the one who leads the husband through life), Dharmapathni (the one who guides the husband in dharma) and Sahadharmacharini (one who moves with the husband on the path of dharma). To sum up, one can say that the bride in the Vedic ideal of a household was far from unimportant and weak. She did have an important position in the family and yielded considerable influence.”***
Those who want a submissive obedient wife, who touch their feet, etc, are not followers of vedic culture and cannot call themselves Hindus. They are just following some Muslim-old-fashioned-western-mix style. To respect and accept women and her choices, wishes and personality, is not to be modern. Just because some people see 3 or 4 generations before them acting in a chauvinistic way they think that that is the traditional Indian way of life, but nothing can be further from the truth. Real tradition comes from much before, when women were treated as equal to men, as we see in the picture of half Shiva and half Parvati as one person only. That is true indian culture.
* SriPedia - http://www.ibiblio.org/sripedia/cgi-bin/kbase/Vedas/Women
** http://www.omtemplenj.org/Woman%20in%20Bible.htm
*** http://ssubbanna.sulekha.com/blog/post/2007/10/rig-veda-position-of-women-2-2.htm
http://vasukimahal.blogspot.com
