In the initial years, most parents are jumpy and on the edge. Although while your child takes center stage and you enjoy it, at some point there is mayhem going on in your house that may not be welcome. Children love to fiddle, open, lift and tear as they explore the world around them.
Dealing with young children always begins with all the right intentions; by gently cajoling them into not messing around, but that does not always work for long. Soon, most parents land up yelling and screaming "No" at all times! The thing to remember is that the parent's behaviour has an impact which is immediately noticeable by how remarkably fast a child picks up the word "No".
Here is a list of things to remember when dealing with toddlers and young children.
Start baby-proofing your apartment, especially with doors and appliances. Ensure balconies and exits have railings that prevent your child from looking over. Keep all electrical sockets with dummy plugs and never leave appliances on, when your baby is around.
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Most parents think we can just "distract" our child out of a situation and it would be forgotten. In reality, it not only leaves the child dissatisfied, but builds curiosity to revisit the situation. For example, if your child is at a store and starts to pull things out of the shelves, you can deal with the situation by first stating to them matter-of-factly that pulling stuff off the shelves would anger and trouble the shopkeepers and remind your child that he/ she can play around in their play pen at home.
3. Good behaviour is directly proportional to reward
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This is another important factor that builds your child's confidence and self esteem as he/she grows up. If your child shows good behaviour by themselves, hug them and appreciate them for that particular good behaviour. For example, if your child shares a toy with their friend, you can appreciate them by telling them "You have been a very good girl/boy by sharing your toys". This makes them understand that they can get appreciation and affection if they do the right thing.
This goes on to build their confidence, making them wonderful individuals.
This is something that has worked wonders for me. Children are attracted like magnets to fire - everyone knows that! What helps is to associate fire with the word "HOT" and for them to know what hot means - make them touch water that is hotter than what they can handle for a brief second without harming them, but making them understand that hot is something that will hurt! This might sound a little extreme but it certainly drives the message home and it helps build caution in children.
Also, make them associate to words like "pain" and "wound". You can do this when they have fallen and are hurting. Ask them if they feel any "pain" and they will soon learn the word. You will be able to tell them that if they take a scissor there will be "pain" like the other times! Word associations for "pain", "hot", "fall down" really help them develop a sense of caution.
5. Sometimes, NO means NO
There are times when children pick up habits that are unacceptable - pulling other children's hair, biting or pinching! There is really no negotiation possible in such circumstances. Even a young toddler can be told how some things are absolutely no-no. You need to tell her that there is pain when you pull hair and pinch and tell her firmly "No pinching" and "No pulling hair". However, it makes sense to reprimand your baby only if there is a situation where she is trying to pinch or pull hair. However, you should not resort to forewarning a baby about situations when they do not exist.
Most parents and especially grandparents, have a tender spot for a crying child. We tend to give in to a stubborn tantrum! It would be a lot easier on you if you stick to your stand and allow an upset child to deal with the situation. If your child is crying and upset, acknowledge it by saying "I know you are upset, but what you did was not the right thing". And if that doesn't work, walk away! It makes them realize that their tantrums will not be tolerated at all times.The best way to deal with your children's behaviour is accepting that they are creatures of curiosity and spontaneity in their every way.
Dealing with young children always begins with all the right intentions; by gently cajoling them into not messing around, but that does not always work for long. Soon, most parents land up yelling and screaming "No" at all times! The thing to remember is that the parent's behaviour has an impact which is immediately noticeable by how remarkably fast a child picks up the word "No".
Here is a list of things to remember when dealing with toddlers and young children.
1. Baby-proofing is fool-proof
Start baby-proofing your apartment, especially with doors and appliances. Ensure balconies and exits have railings that prevent your child from looking over. Keep all electrical sockets with dummy plugs and never leave appliances on, when your baby is around.
2. Boundaries are good!
© Most parents think we can just "distract" our child out of a situation and it would be forgotten. In reality, it not only leaves the child dissatisfied, but builds curiosity to revisit the situation. For example, if your child is at a store and starts to pull things out of the shelves, you can deal with the situation by first stating to them matter-of-factly that pulling stuff off the shelves would anger and trouble the shopkeepers and remind your child that he/ she can play around in their play pen at home.
It must be mentioned here that it is important that parents create a play pen atmosphere where they are given the freedom to mess about and explore!
© PThis is another important factor that builds your child's confidence and self esteem as he/she grows up. If your child shows good behaviour by themselves, hug them and appreciate them for that particular good behaviour. For example, if your child shares a toy with their friend, you can appreciate them by telling them "You have been a very good girl/boy by sharing your toys". This makes them understand that they can get appreciation and affection if they do the right thing.
This goes on to build their confidence, making them wonderful individuals.
4. Demo de do bhai!
This is something that has worked wonders for me. Children are attracted like magnets to fire - everyone knows that! What helps is to associate fire with the word "HOT" and for them to know what hot means - make them touch water that is hotter than what they can handle for a brief second without harming them, but making them understand that hot is something that will hurt! This might sound a little extreme but it certainly drives the message home and it helps build caution in children.
Also, make them associate to words like "pain" and "wound". You can do this when they have fallen and are hurting. Ask them if they feel any "pain" and they will soon learn the word. You will be able to tell them that if they take a scissor there will be "pain" like the other times! Word associations for "pain", "hot", "fall down" really help them develop a sense of caution.
5. Sometimes, NO means NO
6. Acknowledge their tantrum
Most parents and especially grandparents, have a tender spot for a crying child. We tend to give in to a stubborn tantrum! It would be a lot easier on you if you stick to your stand and allow an upset child to deal with the situation. If your child is crying and upset, acknowledge it by saying "I know you are upset, but what you did was not the right thing". And if that doesn't work, walk away! It makes them realize that their tantrums will not be tolerated at all times.The best way to deal with your children's behaviour is accepting that they are creatures of curiosity and spontaneity in their every way.
