Studies have shown the many positive effects of marriage on couples. Happy partners are known to have healthier, longer and wealthier lives. Well, here is something that we want all the married couples to take a note of. Very few married couples realise that their children too benefit tremendously when they see their parents happily married to each other.
Kids who observe happiness in their parents' relationship are reported to do better in studies, have a higher sense of self-esteem and are less likely to face any behavioural issues. You can spend hours lecturing your children on how to be loving, kind and forgiving, but they learn the most by observing how you behave with each other. Please note that- those little eyes and ears are picking up everything!
So, all you couples who have kids or are on the family way, read on to know what your little ones are learning from your marriage.
#1. What "marriage" means
Marriage falls off the priority list for most couples after a few years of being together and having kids. When you direct your energy towards having a happy and healthy marriage, it sends a message to your kids that marriage is a meaningful and healthy relationship. It is a relationship where two people willingly and lovingly support each other through life. When parents stay connected as friends and lovers, their kids learn that marriage is indeed a lovely bond that is for keeps!
#2. How to be a "happy" family
Apart from your demanding careers, you both also have the task of raising your child. Sadly, most kids see their parents only slaving away- both at work and at home. Remember, having fun is an important aspect of family life as well. When you regularly take out quality time to sit, enjoy and relax with your family, it shows your kids that parenting is not a miserable, frustrating "job". It shows them how "happy" family life can be.
#3. The art of handling differences
Conflicts and differences in a marriage are common. How you deal with such conflicts will send out a strong message to your children. When you handle your conflicts in a mature and open manner in front of your kids, it shows them how they too should handle difficult situations in a relationship. So, instead of slamming doors, cursing out loud, giving the silent treatment, or running away from each other, handle things in a calm, composed and graceful manner. Or, shall we say, like a mature adult!
#4. How to negotiate and compromise
Talking about conflicts and differences, your marriage will also be teaching your kids an important lesson on "negotiating" and "compromising" in a relationship. It is necessary to listen respectfully to their partner's point of view and work together to find solutions to the issues at hand. The way parents negotiate through their differences and make small adjustments and compromises to reach the final decision, will have a huge impact on the kids.
#5. The meaning of commitment
When either of you are going through a low phase, or battling an illness or facing financial troubles- your kids note the strength of your commitment towards each other and your marriage. They learn that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going, together!
#6. Art of showing respect
Your children will always be paying attention to how you talk to your partner, and also how you talk about him/her to others. So, keep in mind that there is a huge difference between fighting in rage and resolving a dispute amicably. Parents' anger and disrespect towards each other has a negative impact on their kids. As a parent you should teach them how conflicts can be resolved peacefully. And, this way you would have taught them a big life lesson that will stay with them forever.
#7. Importance of appreciating
No one likes to be "taken for granted", right? Whether it is in personal life or professional- a little appreciation and praise can do wonders for anyone's self-esteem. Most of the married couples often forget that how important and healthy it is for a relationship, to show a little appreciation towards your partner from time to time. Well, if you appreciate your partner for the little things they do, your kids also learn the importance of appreciating and praising, especially for a healthy and happy marriage.
#8. Unconditional love and forgiveness
As you forgive each other for the little mistakes in your everyday life, your children learn that we all make mistakes and that love is all about getting past those and offering our unconditional love and support to your partner. They understand the importance of apologising and forgiveness in a relationship.
#9. Expressing affection
Children should see friendship and affection between their parents. When they see their parents demonstrating affection for each other by holding hands, hugging, cuddling, they learn that how healthy it is to express their feelings. You want your kids to be affectionate and loving, well then teach them this by showing it off, and not just by preaching it.
#10. Relationships are a two-way street
Marriage, or any other relationship in life, is a two-way street. It should be a place where both partners do things for each other with love and respect. Kids need to know that relationships should be about "we" and "us"; and, this they learn by watching their parents. From sharing responsibilities to working together as a team- when your kids see you both doing things like these willingly for one another, it has a great impact on them on them. They too learn how important these are for a happy relationship.
Children are keen observers; they make a note of every detail of the relationship their parents share. Well, as we said before, those little eyes and ears are picking up everything, so are you sure you and your husband are sending out the right signals?
