HANG YOUR ANGER
Anger is an extremely powerful emotion. It can energize in a way that most emotions do not. Think of all the energy you use when you are angry. Now think of what you could do with that energy if it where directed in a way that was beneficial to you. You can choose to handle your anger in a way that is helpful to you, or not, but first you must identify what anger means to you. For instance, ask yourself the following questions and, on a separate sheet of paper, write your answers:
How do I know I’m angry?
Anger is an extremely powerful emotion. It can energize in a way that most emotions do not. Think of all the energy you use when you are angry. Now think of what you could do with that energy if it where directed in a way that was beneficial to you. You can choose to handle your anger in a way that is helpful to you, or not, but first you must identify what anger means to you. For instance, ask yourself the following questions and, on a separate sheet of paper, write your answers:
How do I know I’m angry?
How do I react when I’m angry?
Can people tell when I am angry?
How do they know?
Do I think anger is a “Positive” emotion or a “Negative” emotion?
Why or why not? Is my behaviour different when I’m angry?
How so?
Answering these questions will assist you in identifying how you express anger. It is also helpful for you to become familiar with the types of situations and events that cause you to become angry. Do you think your anger is always justifiable? Or only in certain situations? When do you become angry? Has expressing anger been difficult for you? If so, how? By answering these questions, you will increase your awareness of what triggers your anger. Learning what about what makes you angry will help you to express your anger in more effective ways.
Sometimes people exercise to help manage their anger reactions. Physical activity might be working out in the gym, swimming, walking, jogging or whatever physical exercise brings you enjoyment. For some people, however, physical exercise is very difficult because they are simply too sick and / or too tired to engage in such activities. For these people, handling anger through physical activity become more difficult, but not impossible. Physical activity, for instance, might involve rearranging your closet, polishing your silverware, or waxing your car.
If even those kinds of physical activity are too difficult, try writing down your feelings in a journal. It may seem as if anger cannot be expressed adequately in this manner. However, when you’re really angry, there are a number of chemical and hormonal changes that take place due to the “fight – or – flight” physiological responses activated by anger. Many people find that writing journal entries about how they feel – while they are feeling, those adrenaline surges – actually helps them to express their anger more accurately and effectively. Effectively communicating feelings of anger may also help.
(Author : Amy B. Trachter in East and West July 2005)
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