UNDERSTANDING THE REALITY OF FAMILY LIFE

UNDERSTANDING THE REALITY OF FAMILY LIFE

 

Managing director announced that the project was commissioned and declared its success, celebrations started in the office.

 

Everyone came to Ranjith and congratulated him. The whole company was very proud of Ranjith. It was the first time in the history of the company an order worth Rs 500 Million was executed successfully to the fullest satisfaction of its customers.

 

Ranjith spearheaded the whole operation; it was not an easy task, he slogged for long hours, had to manage difficult people, overcome obstacles on day to day basis and was out of his comfort zone for the past eighteen months.

 

Ranjith knows he deserves this appreciation and was enjoying every moment of the celebration. A great party with a grand lunch for all the employees was arranged. The atmosphere was charged, with full of fun and happiness.

 

Ranjith wanted to share this happiness with his wife, so he took time off from the party and called his wife. Her Wife picked the call and said hello....Ranjith started to speak with full excitement "Darling you know what?  The project I was working was commissioned today and it was a big success...it is big party time in our office everyone is appreciating me....I just thought of sharing this with you..."

 

Wife replied ...Is it.....Ok, when are coming back don't forget to buy 1kg of butter and some vegetables, I need to prepare a special Lunch for our son as he is going out for an excursion tomorrow....and then the call ended.

 

Ranjith was disheartened and upset over the fact that his wife couldn't understand the importance of the call he made...His face became dull as he entered the party hall. The Managing director noticing the change in the Ranjith's face took him to his room and enquired.

 

Ranjith shared his phone call experience with him and the way he felt about his wife's reaction...The managing director listened and said "Ranjith every one of us is different in the way we perceive the news, events and the world – if you understand this then you will appreciate that what is important to you may not be necessarily important to others, Your wife has her own world of things and for her preparing a special lunch for your son is something like executing a big project as you have done....

 

Ranjith got enlightened, enjoyed the party and went back home with 1Kg of Butter and Some vegetables which he handpicked for the first time

Are You Happy ?

Are You Happy ?

 

On a certain occasion, during an elegant welcoming reception for the new Director of Marketing of an important London company, some of the wives of the other directors, who wanted to get acquainted with the new spouse, asked her with some hesitation.

 

"Does your spouse make you happy, truly happy?"

 

The husband, who at the moment was not at her side, but was sufficiently near to hear the question, paid attention to the conversation, sitting up slightly, feeling secure, even filling his chest lightly in pride,  knowing that his spouse would answer affirmatively, since she had always  been there for him during their marriage.

 

Nevertheless, to both his and the others' surprise, she replied simply:

 

"No, no he doesn't make me happy..."

 

The room became uncomfortably silent, as if everyone were listening to the spouse's response. The husband was petrified. He couldn't believe what his wife was saying, especially at such an important occasion for him.

 

To the amazement of her husband and of everyone, she simply placed enigmatically on her head an elegant black silk scarf and continued:

 

"No, he doesn't make me happy …I AM HAPPY. The fact that I am happy or not, don't depend on him, but on me."

 

"I am the only person upon whom my happiness depends. I make the choice to be happy in each situation and in each moment of my life. If my happiness were to depend on other people, on other things or circumstances on the face of this earth, I would be in serious trouble!"

 

"Most of the things in our life change continually: our wealth, our body, our friends, our pleasures, the climate, etc. I could enumerate an infinite list…

 

 "Over my life I have learnt a couple of things: It's not the responsibility of my spouse to make me happy... He also has his "experiences or circumstances."  I love him and he loves me, often in spite of his circumstances and of mine."

 

I decide to be happy and the rest is a matter of experiences or circumstances; like helping, and understanding, accepting, listening, consoling; and with my spouse, I have lived and practiced this many times….

 

"He changes, I change, the environment changes, everything change; Having forgiveness and true love, and observing these changes that can be, big or little, but always happen, we must face them with the love that exists in each one of us. If the two of us love and forgive each other, the changes will only be "experiences or circumstances" that enrich us and give us strength. Otherwise we would only be "living together."

 

For some, divorce is the only solution; (…in reality it is the easiest…)

 

To truly love is difficult. It is to forgive unconditionally, to live, to take the "experiences or circumstances" as they are, facing them together   and being happy with conviction.

 

There are those who say: "I cannot be happy because I am sick, because I have no money, because it's too cold, because they insulted me, because someone stopped loving me, because someone didn't appreciate me!"

 

But what you don't know is that you can be happy even though you are sick, whether it is too hot, whether you have money or not, whether someone has insulted you or someone didn't love you, or hasn't valued you.

 

BEING HAPPY is an attitude about life and each one of us must decide!

 

BEING HAPPY, depends on you !

THEY ARE PRECIOUS

THEY ARE PRECIOUS

This was narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students during a Seminar on Human Relations:

Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket for his father, his maiden flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him.

When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our sponsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments.

Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes.

Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too.

Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.